Nobody told me about becoming a Wife In Law
I didn’t sigh up for this — except it turns out, I did.
In this contemporary world of serial marriages and post-modern relationships, some of the role definitions that have guided our social behaviour are becoming obsolete. I have discovered this over the years while fulfilling the role of the second wife.
The first time it happened, my partner shared custody of his two kids — one of them lived with us, the other with her mother, and we shuttled back and forth periodically.
As a non-parent, I had totally under-estimated the extent to which the kids’ needs came first (fair enough) and the kids’ mother had a say (also to be expected, although I realized it way too late). I soon discovered that there was a pecking order in all our decision-making, in which my vote came last in all things.
Who’s going on vacation when and with whom? Who “gets” Christmas, and who “gets” Christmas Eve?
And of course, who pays for what?
I was divorced too, and as a non-parent, I had absolutely no reason to be in touch with my ex-husband. We were amicably and permanently severed from one another’s lives, and had no children to argue about.
